Troubled Waters

A few weeks ago, one of my good friends suggested that I write a post centered around "Trusting in God even when times are hard." 

I hadn't given the post much thought at all till yesterday during my bible time I randomly came across 2 Corinthians 12:9 (emphasis are my own) 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 

Therefore, I will boast ALL the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.

For when I am weak, THEN I am strong."

Whenever you read "troubled waters" a certain time of your life probably came to mind. We've all experienced different levels of darkness, hardship, and hurt.

No matter what level you've endured, or maybe you're even going through something right now, we all know what it's like to feel hurt. 

As easy as it is to read 2 Corinthians 12:9 and think "Oh, I want to be like that when I go through hard times like Paul did!"

It is a very different thing to live it out.

I can't think of one difficult thing I've been through that I started out with the mindset of "This is making me stronger?! Awesome!!" 

No, they usually start out with loads of complaining, tears, confusion and anger.

Another verse, resembling 2 Corinthians 12, is James 1:1 where James writes: 

"Consider it pure JOY, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

Joy....Crazy, right? I've often read this verse in the "troubled waters" times of my life. 

I've thought many times how nearly impossible it is for me to feel "joy" in those times. 

Because when I think of the word "joy" I coincide it with happiness, laughter, smiling, etc.

But no, it wasn't the verse that was messed up. It was my definition of joy. 

Yes, I'm aware of how the dictionary defines joy. 

But I'm not talking in terms of dictionaries here. I'm talking in terms of my heart. I don't think of joy as just an emotion anymore. It's a lot more than that. As I wrote about in my very first post: joy is a choice.

I think that joy is the ability to endure all the pain knowing it is making me stronger. Trusting in God, not my own understanding. (See Proverbs 3:8) 

My eyes may be filled with tears and my heart screaming out with fear and confusion.

I may have not smiled in a month. But I will still.have.joy. 

It's okay to be hurt, confused, and angry. The world does that to us. 

But even when life is hard, and it hurts, and I don't understand why things are happening the way they are, I still have joy. I still have hope. A reason to keep pressing on. 

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us." (Romans 8:18)

Is that verse alone not motivation enough to keep pressing on through your troubled waters? It is for me.

To quote the very popular Hillsong lyrics from Oceans:

"...In oceans deep
my faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and you won't start now.

...Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders. 
And my fail will be made stronger in the presence of my savior."

Now, look over those lyrics again and really think about them this time. No matter how many hundreds of times I play that song the lyrics never fail to touch my heart.

He has never failed and he won't.start.now.

Sometimes the storms are just going to knock me flat on my face. Coming out of each storm, I will never be the person that I was coming in.

I can let the storms of my life change me in two very different ways. 

I can let Satan use it to break me down and drown me. 

Or I can let God use it to make me stronger.
To draw me closer to Him. 

Above the troubled waters. 

Safe.

Keep Choosing Joy

Well, here we go. I made a blog. I've thought about it for a while but I finally did. Writing has always been one of my favorite things to do. Since the moment I knew how to write I have loved writing. Cards, stories, poems, etc. They weren't always GOOD per say... but I still loved writing them anyways.

Writing has always been a "go-to" for me. While most people want to talk out their problems with other people to get through them, I just simply have to write down my feelings and I'll start to feel better. My brain is always too scatter brained to even get my own thoughts straight. So writing even helps me understand myself better. Before, I've mainly kept the things I've written private. So today I'm trying something new. :) 

So to start, I'm going to write about the title and why I chose it. 

Keep•Choosing•Joy

About two weeks ago I was browsing Pinterest and I stumbled upon my new all time favorite quote by Henri J.M Nouwen:

Before you understand why that quote means so much to me, you need to know one thing about my personality. 

I. Hate. Routine. I want exciting, spontaneous things happening ALL the time. I would be content with being socially active for every minute of everyday. The minute we get home from being out and about I'm ready to do something else fun. 

So when I'm NOT out doing fun spontaneous things, I've often found myself moping about the house. Complaining about my boredom and arguing with my parents about why I can't be somewhere else right now. 

But lately, God has opened my eyes to something I want to share with you all.

The reason why that quote is so important to me.

There is always something to be happy about.

I am a very, very, blessed girl. God has given me far beyond what I could ever deserve. He gave His ONLY son for ME, and I'm not being joyful because I have to sit at my house for a few hours. Like, what the heck? 

I've found that the reason I have often found myself unhappy, is because I wasn't looking for joy in the right places. I was comparing my life with others instead of seeing all the wonderful reasons to be joyful that He's already put in my life. After God opened my eyes to this, I started praying He would open my eyes to help me to see joy in places I hadn't before. 

And lemme tell ya, He sure has. 

I now find myself enthused by the smallest things I used to constantly overlook and take for granted. It's amazing how much joy is out there if I only look with the right eyes.

The sky has always been something that amused me. But even more so lately. In every car ride I find myself pointing out clouds "Mom, look at that cloud!! It's so cool!" (To the point where I imagine she's thinking "Okay honey, I get it. Clouds are cool") 

But seriously. Have you ever looked at something you've seen a million times and it's suddenly so much more beautiful and radiant than ever before? That's how I feel about so many things now. 

The clouds, the grass, every little flower, the sun, stars, my family, my friends, trees, eVeRyThInG. 

Life is just...beautiful. 

Like I said, it's amazing how much joy is out there if I only look with the right eyes.

Joyful people are attractive. We all know those people that are always happy and excited about everything. They have so much energy, happiness, and positivity. It's hard to feel down and negative around them because their joy is contagious. That's how I want to be. That's how we should all want to be. 

Joy is contagious 

For example, it rained yesterday. Not for very long at all. But in the short time it did rain, I went outside with my little brother and sister. (More about them in another post) 

Usually I'd be on my couch listening to music and staying dry. But in the car earlier that day I had mentioned to them that if it rained we should go play in it. So as soon as it started raining both of their faces turned to pure excitment as they grabbed their jackets and darted through the house to hurry and get to it.

Before I joined them I stood in a dry spot by the house just observing them. 

Both of them spinning around, laughing, and splashing each other. They found joy in something so simple, and it brought me joy too. Their joy was contagious. 

•Choose To See The Joy•

When's the last time you just stopped and took a look around you? 

Yes, we live in a broken world with so much filth and distruction. 

But through all of it, we still have plenty of reasons to be joyful. You just have to choose to see it. 

"Joy does not simply happen to us, we have to CHOOSE joy; and keep choosing it everyday."

I chose joy today. Did you?