Another Poem || Scars

|| Sometimes the cuts once scraped upon the heart

Still haunt and torment you in the dark

You might wish for a hit to your flesh knowing that it will fade 

Because the wounds to your soul often remain for long after they were made

Our hearts will hurt and our hearts will bleed- but those scars are crying something lovely

They're saying "Look! I've made it this far!"  

All taking part in the story of who you are

They're proof that even though you were hurt, you still moved along

The tears once streaming down your face, built you up and made you strong

There's no reason to hide your scars, you're only to wear them proud. 

Tell your stories! Tell them loud.

Maybe you aren't who you were before your heart was hurt

You're like a beautiful flower, once growing up through dirt

So embrace the pain and let the wounds sting

for you never know the strength and beauty that this cut could bring. ||

Choosing to be Bold | Different |

Being different isn't a quality that typically gains a lot of respect.

No, being different in today's world is often looked down on and laughed at. 

Sometimes causing us as Christians to shrink away from our beliefs and hide behind our insecurities. We're human. We want to be accepted. 

Lately I've been learning about what it means to be bold. A verse that has been my "get me through senior year" verse is Hebrews 10:39:

"But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed. But of those who have faith and are saved."

We are NOT of those who shrink back. That sentence alone gives me so much courage. 

Unfortunately, in most circumstances I'm probably better at shrinking back than I am at being bold. I mean sure, I've never directly denied Christ. But we all shrink back and deny Him in our own little ways every day. 

Like when everyone around us is talking about another person in a negative way. It's easy to "shrink back" and join in even when we know that's not the kind of person we are called to be. It's easy to find negative qualities in someone else.

It's not easy to be bold and stand up for that person. Or maybe even just walk away and refuse to be apart of it.

But it's the right thing to do.

Or in any circumstance that you're around others who may not strive to live the kind of life that you do. It's easy to shrink back. Sure, you don't have to take part in what they're doing/saying. But how often do we just sit back and watch what's going on around us instead of choosing to be bold and try to put a stop to it. 

I want to make a difference in people's lives. That's something I've been passionate about for as long as I can remember. 

But I'm learning that in order to make a difference, I have to BE different. 

I fall short of this all the time. It's all too natural to take the easy way out. But I'm praying He will give me a spirit of courage; that He'll teach me to be bold in all my words and actions. 

We have to make the choice. When controversial situations arise, are we going to choose to shrink back and hide behind our fear? Or are we going to choose to boldly step forward with a spirit of confidence, courage, and faith? 

Courageous by Casting Crowns is a pretty well known song from the movie Courageous that came out in 2011. 

One of the lines from the song that really stands out to me from that song is "may the watchers become warriors." 

 

In my own words, may the ones who shrink back become bold. 

This is something He's been teaching me for a while now. I am not of those who shrink back and are destroyed. But of those who have faith and are saved. I am called to be courageous and confident in Him. Boldy stepping out and allowing Him to shape me into a woman after His heart. 

I fail. You fail. 

We all fail and will continue to, but thank goodness we serve a God who doesn't hold anything against us. 

May you have the courage daily to wake up and choose to live boldy for our King. Even when it's not easy to be different. 

Decisions || Every Step of the Way

174 days till I am 18. Since I am almost an adult, I am facing a lot of the new challenging decisions and doubts that commonly come along with early adulthood. 

The biggest one being college. The decision that I've made I have only shared with a couple people. But to come out and say it, I've decided not to go to college. 

*gasp* 

I know, I know, that's not how the system works.. 

You're supposed to go to school kindergarden through graduation then continue on with your education elsewhere in order to be accepted by society. 

But frankly, I don't really care if society accepts it or not. 

What I think: 

Education is not bad. College is not bad. We are blessed to have so many different schools and organizations dedicated just to our learning. If I did want to go, I have endless options and oppurtunities. But it is not for everyone. 

This is something I have been praying about for a very long time. The last year or so I lost my pull towards going to college. Not out of fear, lack of motivation or anything of that sort. Some things simply can't be explained except for something I feel in my heart to be right. 

When I was making this decision, fear that I was going to miss out kept creeping up on me. College is such the normal thing to do that I could already hear all the comments people would make to my parents and I when they heard of my decision. 

But other people's opinions don't rule my life. 

No, I'm not going to sit around my house, bored out of my mind and call it a life. 

I'm going to create a life. It may not include professors, classes, school events and a dorm room.. but I will be content and happy knowing that my Jesus is leading me every step of the way. 

Once I made my decision the fear was still there. This time taunting me with "if you don't go, what ARE you going to do?" 

No one wants to feel like a failure. But the more I prayed and asked him to help me fully trust Him, the more He worked inside of me. He's been teaching me the beauty in letting go and trusting Him.

Earlier today I was looking back at some of my old posts and I read what I had written in my post "joy in confusion" 

I wrote: " I find joy and beauty in the mystery He is unfolding little by little right in front of me. 

When I am scared, I only need to readjust and remember, I am not in control. I don't need to know. 

For when I don't understand, I only have more reason to cling even tighter to my Jesus. To allow Him to teach me, to guide me, and to hold me through out my every move."

That's the mindset I want to keep. 

I am not in control. 

 I will never be in control. 

Not knowing what will happpen is perfectly okay.

 He's got me. 

So even though my next step is unknown at the moment. I serve an all knowing God that already knows my next step and the next thousand after that. Better yet, He is taking those steps WITH me. I have NO reason to fear, NO reason to doubt, and NO reason to be in control. 

Psalm 56:3 says "When I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" 

People are going to make unnecessary comments to me and I can't promise they're always going to sit well with me. But I will continually pray for courage, wisdom, and a heart ready to chase after His will for my life.

 I will trust that He is ALWAYS walking with me. Therefore, I will not be afraid.

I found this quote on Pinterest that I loooove.  

So I'm ready to jump into whatever He has in store for me. Whether it be something big or something small. I want to spend my whole life pouring myself out to serve my Jesus and all the people He puts on my path. I want HIM to accept my life. So whether or not anyone else does is.. well, unimportant. 

I just thought I'd share my decision and my story behind it. 

Anywho, like my Facebook page to the right or at the link below if you haven't already! :D  

https://m.facebook.com/keepchoosingjoy/

God bless! :) 

Purity | A Way of Life

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12)

My parents gave me a purity ring for my last birthday with this verse engraved on it. Ideally a purity ring is a symbol of a commitment not to have sex out of wedlock. But lately I've been thinking a lot about what exactly it means to be pure. Purity is not a one time decision, it is a way of life.

When thinking about it the other day, I somewhat felt ashamed with that ring on my finger knowing many of my actions have been driven by selfishness and unholiness. 

But He reminded me that He is continually renewing me and making me pure. 

After thinking about it for a few days, the shamefulness in wearing that ring no longer exists. In fact, seeing that ring on my finger means just a little bit more to me than it did before. Let me share with you why: 

To start, I looked up what the word purity means. The online definition says purity is the condition or quality of being pure; freedom from anything that debases, contaminates, pollutes, etc..

In the world today purity is a very hard thing to maintain. We are constantly having evil thrown at us in our daily atmospheres. We can't just want to be pure, we have to choose to be pure. Despite how much evil and impurity is out there to catch us.

But then what? What is choosing to be pure? 

It all starts from within. I love the verse from Philippians 4:8 "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is PURE, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." (Emphasis my own)

To paraphrase, we are called to "think holy thoughts"

Another verse I really love is Luke 6:45, where Luke says "..for out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks"

So what we put into our hearts/minds, is what is going to come out.

....and that's where the "purity is a way of life" part comes in. We have to choose what we allow into our heart/mind. Because what we put in, is what's going to come out. In our speech, our actions..everything.

One thing I will admit I haven't always appreciated, is that my parents have done a good job at monitoring the television shows/movies/songs/internet use that my siblings and I intake. 

The older I get, I'm understanding (and appreciating) why they made the decisions about what we put into our heads that they did. I'm learning to make those decisions myself. I'm learning how to choose purity. 

The ring on my left ring finger not only symbolizes my commitment to wait, but my commitment to live a life of a purity.

Now of course, I'm human. Not every action I make is made with the thought of being pure in mind. Unfortunately, that's the case more often than not. But thanks to my wonderful Jesus, I am CONSTANTLY being made pure through His blood. (Jesus to the rescue!!)

1 John 1:7 says "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his son, purifies us from all sin."

Then in verse 9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from unrighteousness."

He is making me new daily through the blood of Jesus Christ. That's something I hear a lot and maybe don't always take it for what it's worth. But like, isn't that actually really super cool??

Every single day I am given the chance to start completely over. I'm given the chance to choose purity. I am given the chance to walk with Purity himself. 

In closing. one of my favorite verses I like to read along with my prayer time is Psalm 51:10 

"Create in me a PURE heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" 

Pray that verse this week. I encourage you to really spend some time thinking about what it means to be pure. Then ask yourself if the actions in your own life are following that definition. 

Anywho, my Jesus is amazing. and this walk with Him is one heck of an adventure. 

God bless. (:

A New Perspective | Through the Eyes of Jesus

This is a topic that has hit me hard lately that I'd like to share. As Christians we are called to be set apart from the world. We are called to love like Jesus; extending the grace and mercy that was offered to us to others. 

I've been taught this since I was little. But day after day I continue to view others through the eyes of the world. Passing judgement, looking down on others, excluding people, and frankly, sometimes just being rude when instead I should be viewing every individual as a child of God. 

Lately I've been learning to see others through the eyes of Jesus. 

The last two weeks or so I've been praying for him to give me a whole new perspective of other people; to help me to see others through His eyes. With grace, mercy, kindness, and unconditional love. 

I get in such a routine sometimes in dealing with other people that I forget just how unique and special every person is. 

God created every single one of us with our own story. 

Okay stop for a second.. Isn't that actually really cool? Of all the people in this world every one of our stories is special to Him. 

So I shouldn't brush people off the way I often do. Instead, I should take time in my dealings with other people. I should take time to know them. Time to learn their story. Viewing them through the eyes of Jesus. Viewing them as an individual that is loved and cherished by God regardless of how they are viewed by the world. 

Instead of catching a quick glance at someone and then deciding how I'm going to treat them. I should extend the same attitude to everyone because that's who I should decide to be. Regardless of who they decide to be. 

In just the past two weeks that I've been praying about this, I've already seen God working on my heart. 

I enjoy my work days a little bit more now. I'm hesitant to say it but I actually.. Enjoy working. I enjoy seeing all the many, many special individuals that cross my path on a daily basis. 

He's helping me to remember that every interaction with another person is a chance to be His light in this world of darkness. 

So maybe when that one customer has nothing nice to say and all I want to do is roll my eyes and get their order over with, I could stop and look past their attitude towards me. I should choose to smile, maybe ask how their day was. I should look through the eyes of Jesus. 

God doesn't look at me through the eyes of the world. He looks at me through eyes of love. He chooses to see my story.

So who am I to turn around and not extend that to other people? 

We are called to be a light to the world. But to be the light to the world, we need to start by seeing the light in every individual.

Anywho, just some thoughts that have been rolling around in my head lately. Ask yourself, are you viewing others through the eyes of the world? Or through the eyes of Jesus? 

I encourage you to pray the same prayer that I've been praying. Ask Him to help you always see others through the eyes of Jesus. Always extending grace, mercy, kindness, and unconditional love. Because that's what has been extended to you. 

Being Genuine | Living With a Purpose

Well. It's been about a month and I've finally decided to put these thoughts I've been thinking together and try to make sense out of them. 

It's so cool to me when something is suddenly on my heart and then it seems that every verse, song, lesson, etc.. that I hear after that is like little messages from God telling me "Hey, I put that on your heart for a reason." 

I brush it off a lot, but when I stop and put the pieces together, he teaches me some pretty cool things. 

Lately He's been teaching me about being genuine. Genuine in my faith, friendships, relationship.. In everything. To stop just merely getting by day after day, and to live with a purpose. 

A few weeks ago I was reading Romans 12 before going to sleep one night. The thought of being genuine had already been on my mind and the first part of verse 9 really stuck out to me. 

"Love must be sincere." 

So short and so simple. But extremely hard. It's so easy to get caught up in all the "important" things that go on in my own little world that I forget to be genuine. My faith becomes a routine. Sure, I go to church every Sunday. I read my bible everyday. But am I truly seeking and thriving for Him in everything I do?  Or just.. Simply doing what I've always done. It's easy to play the part. But I want to be 100% real. I don't want Christ to be only a part of my life, when He IS my life.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

When I became one with Christ, every single part of my old life died. Which means I am now to live FULLY in Christ. I can't only give him parts of my life. He doesn't want my hour of worship on Sunday mornings or my 15 minute bible study before bed. He wants ME. 

My whole life is nothing but an instrument to be used for His kingdom. Nothing else.

In my nightly prayer journal, I end every prayer with "May all that I am be pleasing to You" 

But so, so many times I've written that and continued living to please myself. I want to live intentionally, not habitually.

Once I realized that He wants me to work on being genuine and intentional. I had to figure out just how He wanted me to do that. 

To start, I realized I needed to fall in love again. 

I needed to seek God in every aspect of my life. 

Recently I also read Jeremiah 29:13 

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart."

ALL of my heart. My whole entire life. My every action, word, thought.. my every single second of existance is to seek Him and to make His name known; and the best way to make His name known is to start being 100% authentic in my faith.  Not just a Sunday morning thing but a give Him every ounce of my time and energy kind of thing. 

I read this quote on Pinterest (quoting Pinterest once again.. :P ) But it was really fitting with what's been on my mind. 

After I read that two verses immediately came to mind. 

Matthew 6:21 and Luke 6:45.

Matthew 6:21 says "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." 

Luke 6:45 says "...For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." 

If I seek God with all my heart, then my faith is going to be genuine. When people are authentic in their walk with God, it's noticable. They're set apart. People will be curious because there's something different. They'll want to know more. 

So if we're going to share His love with others, we have to be genuine. 

People can sense when we're fake.. and there's nothing attractive about that. Simply playing the part isn't enough. We have to truly act on our beliefs. 

There's a piece of paper I keep in my bible of a prayer I wrote almost 2 years ago. I don't like sharing things I write down on paper. I usually keep them safe in a journal for only me to see. But I want to share this prayer. 

"I am not my own. My life is not my own. My every breath is a chance; a chance to make a difference. To be a light in a world of darkness. To be a reflection of Him. Him, the source of my light, my hope, and my joy. 

No day is just another day. Every day I want to choose to live for Him. I want to be joyful and bring joy to others. I want to be BOLD. I want to let go of every fear and knock down every barrier. I want to simply let go. My God is in control of everything, so I will do anything for Him. With all that He's done for me, there is nothing I wouldn't do for Him. He loves me; regardless of all my selfish sin. The love He has for me is the love I want to have for others. I want every single word I say and every move to reflect Him. He is my only reason to live, so what's my life if it's not FOR Him? 

Even in the darkest of times, my soul is at peace. When the world hurts me, He heals me. When the world takes hold of me, He sets me free. When the world tells me I'm not good enough, He tells me I am HIS. His, the One who spoke everything into existance. The world will never accept me, but HE accepts me. He wants me. He chases after me no matter how many times I run away from Him. He is my everything to me, and my everything is His." 

No matter how faded and torn up that prayer gets folded up in my bible, I hope to keep it forever as a reminder to myself to always live with a purpose. To be genuine, authentic, real. It's so easy to get swept away in the day to day routines. Every now and then we all just need to stop and remember the real reason that we're here. 

I haven't posted in mOnThS but God has been teaching me this lately and I wanted to share. 

I hope you enjoyed and God bless.❤️

Loving on God's Terms

Loving on God's terms.

 I'm going to explain what exactly that means to me here in a bit. But to start, I'm going to talk about the OPPOSITE of loving on God's terms. Loving on OUR own terms or somebody else's terms. Out of the two, I think it's pretty safe to say the second is usually the most common.

When we love on our own/somebody else's terms, we allow the way another person treats us, to affect how we treat them. They give us attitude, we give them attitude back. They speak harshly, and we spit cruel words right back. We offer the same unkindness that is handed to us right back to them. We love based on their emotions towards us, and our emotions towards them. 

Sometimes it comes naturally in the heat of a moment, and sometimes it's a series of anger and bitterness built up towards an individual that causes us to mistreat them. We allow them to determine how we're gong to treat them, instead of choosing to love them regardless. 

Now that you get the idea of loving on the opposite of God's terms, you probably are starting to get what it means to love on His terms. 

Loving on God's terms, is not loving with emotion; which seems to me to be the most common form of "love"

Loving on God's terms is CHOOSING to love, whether our emotions want to or not.  

Loving on God's terms is doing our best to extend the same love to others that Christ extended to us. 

The world has lots of it's own ideas of "love" and what it should look like. But we have already been given the perfect example of love by love himself.

"Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves, has been born of God and knows God. For God is love." (1 John 4:7) 

Love is from God. Love IS God. What the world tries to convince us love is, is counterfeit. It seems to serve the same purpose, but in the end is worth nothing. But loving on His terms will never leave us empty. 

Romans 5:8 says that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. 

NOT "why we were making Him happy, Christ died for us." 

He died for all the times we knowingly deny Him. He died for every time we hurt him and disappoint him. All the times we choose something else over him. All the times we claim to know him, but let hate drive us, instead of love. Instead of Him. He CHOSE to love us. No matter how we made Him feel. Because of who HE is, not because of who we are. 

We should love because of who we are through Him. Not because of who anyone else is to us.

1 John 4:9 "We love because He first loved us." 

Tremendous love was extended to us. Love that most wouldn't even think possible. A love so strong that NOTHING could overcome it. 

The greatest love the world has ever known. 

Now who are we, to turn around, and choose not to keep spreading that tremendous love based on our own human emotions? It's quite pathetic for us to do that, actually.

I have always loved this quote from Martin Luther King Junior, and I think it fits perfectly:

"Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, 
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

Love can overcome any darkness. When firing back that hatred and unkindness only drives the darkness deeper. Why would you choose to increase the darkness?

No matter how anyone else treats us, we are to CHOOSE to love them. Because God chose to love us. He loved us at our very lowest point.

"Let us not love with words or tongue but with ACTIONS and truth." (1 John 3:8)

In my very first post, I wrote about "joy" and how God taught me that joy isn't a feeling. It's a choice. For the longest time, I struggled with thinking that some people were just too hard to love. That no matter what I just couldn't bring myself to love them. But He has taught me that love also isn't just a feeling. No. it's a choice as well. I emphasized the word "actions" in the above verse, because it's proof that love is not just a feeling. We are called to love through actions.
I may not want to be around someone, I may not like the things they say to me, I may not even necessarily "like" them. But I can still show love to them through my actions. By choosing to speak kindness and love instead of returning the unkindness.
Regardless of anything it is my job as a child of God to choose to love them. Because my God chose to love me.

I know my blog is all about choosing joy. But I encourage you to CHOOSE LOVE. Because when we choose love, we are showing the world Jesus. Even the simplest choices to show love can reveal Him to others. For wherever there is love, there is God. For God is love.

Choose love today, friends. :-)